Acceptance

I had a wedding shoot scheduled.
I planned every detail out.
I knew exactly what time I needed to leave to be at the temple just before they came out.

Left two minutes late. "It's okay" I told myself "I left myself some wiggle room."
It was all fine and dandy until I hit the freeway.

For some reason when there is a cop pulled over on the side of the road all lanes of traffic feel they need to slow down by 10-20 miles... "It's a natural psychological phenomenon" (name that movie)

It took me a good 15 minutes to get two miles. I looked at the clock and it read 1:15, the time I had scheduled to be there waiting.

This is where the panic set in.

"Oh my gosh how am I going to make it on time? What if I am late? What if I get there and they're all sitting outside waiting for me? What if I get there and they've all left because they were so sick of waiting?! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

I picked up my phone and called Benson - he's my voice of reason.

"It will be okay," he told me "Just say a prayer and drive safe."

I prayed the rest of the way there, outloud even, but for some reason I was still worried about making it on time.

"Do I really lack that much faith?" I thought outloud (I talk to myself in my car sometimes, mostly when I am trying not to freak out. Don't judge.)

I realized it wasn't a lack of faith. I know that Heavenly Father is capable of doing whatever we ask of him. I also know that just because we ask something of him doesn't mean he will do it (even though he can).

This made me remember that he is much smarter than I am and has a better view of what I need. I also know that he loves me dearly and has my best interest at heart.

So wouldn't that mean if he chose not to answer one of my prayers when I want the way I want that it would be because what I want isn't really what I need? Yes, I think so.

Then the realization hit me, "I don't have a lack of faith, I have a lack of acceptance."

My worry isn't caused by my lack of thinking that he can or will, it's my lack of being able to accept that if I get a "no" than that's what's best for me.

I finished this thought as I pulled into the temple parking lot. I walked quickly to the front steps, still praying. I met the brides friend outside and she let me know they hadn't come out yet, but that they'd just finished their sealing and were changing their clothes (meaning my "late" timing was actually perfect.)

I thanked Heavenly Father many times for getting me there safely and answering my prayers. I also asked to help me remember to be accepting of his will since, afterall, he knows better.

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Benson and I talked about this concept later that evening. We started talking about how it applied to all areas of life. We talked about how if we pray in faith and do our part that everything will work out the way it is supposed to, that everything will be okay.

What if we could always remember that? Think of how much less stressfull life would be if we knew that always.

Although it may take all I have to get this through my head, I am going to try my hardest to keep this in mind.